Cabin Fever

Greg takes his graphic novel in to sell it and finds out the autograph is a fake. He realizes that Greg’s mother signed the graphic novel while he was in the bathroom, and Greg is reminded that his mother used to hate waiting in lines at amusement parks, too. Greg is angry at his mother, but only temporarily.

Greg’s mom makes up for the fake autograph when Greg forgets about the “Secret Holiday Buddy” event at school (117). He was supposed to buy a present for a student named Dean, whom Greg happens to have cheated out of a present once before. A few years ago, Greg accidentally showed up at Dean’s birthday party a week early. He couldn’t wait another week to give Dean his gift, and he ended up opening it and playing with it himself. Now, Greg calls his mom at school and tells her that he needs a gift for Dean, and she manages to come through for Greg. The only catch is that Greg’s mom signed the present, which embarrasses both Greg and Dean.

Greg’s favorite snack at the school holiday fair, chicken drumsticks (called “Drummies”) are much cheaper at the grocery store, and when Greg discovers this, he decides to enlist Rowley’s help in creating their own holiday bazaar. They decide to create a homemade video arcade for their event, and they make a Pacman replica out of cardboard. The boys effectively create a manual version of the game, but it breaks during the final stages of the construction process, rendering their idea useless.

Rowley and Greg go to the local newspaper in the hopes of running an ad, but they find out that doing so is expensive, and the newspaper refuses to run the story for free. Greg’s mom suggests that the boys create their own newspaper instead, so they invent “The Neighborhood Tattler” (129). The newspaper exposes the inflated prices of the drumsticks at the school fair and advertises the boys’ upcoming holiday event. The boys also add their original comic strips and an advice column to the paper (although their advice is horrible). Greg and Rowley manage to find one local business, Papa Tony’s Pizza, which agrees to sponsor their paper, and this gives them enough money to print it.

The newspaper is printed, but the pizza ad is placed right next to a negative review of the same place, effectively voiding both the ad and the article. The boys can’t manage to sell many, so they hand them out for free. Later, Greg and Rowley make some posts on green posterboard and place them on the school wall. When it starts to rain, the poster ink runs, leaving green imprints all over the walls. Just as the boys are spotted, they dash in the other direction, but Greg feels that it would have been better to just admit their mistake.

Greg wakes up the next morning to find a description of school “vandalism” in the local paper. His and Rowley’s faces are roughly drawn, and they both look like criminals. Greg is no stranger to being falsely accused of crime; he remembers when he and Rodrick were once accused of kidnapping an elderly woman. 

At that time, Greg was trying to earn a service badge in Scouts, and he and Rodrick came across an elderly woman who looked lost. They picked her up and drove her to a supermarket five miles away, and she ended up walking home on the side of the highway. She reported the incident, and the story was on the news. 

Now, the police are brought into the school, and the students are questioned about the vandalism incident. They are told that a lie detector is being used, but it’s really just an old school printer. Greg stays quiet and doesn’t confess.

Greg is called into the principal’s office, and the principal announces that he knows Greg is responsible. Rowley left an anonymous note that read, “Me and Greg Heffley vandalized the school” (148), and Greg is sure that Rowley didn’t intend to leave his name off the note. When asked who the writer of the note is, Greg decides not to turn Rowley in. He hopes that Rowley will realize what a sacrifice Greg has made for him. Greg has to bleach the walls until they’re clean, and it takes him two hours.

When Greg returns home after scrubbing the wall, he finds a note from the police, promising to return later. Greg panics and starts thinking about what it would be like to be in jail and have no privacy. (Greg recalls feeling a similar panic a couple of years ago when he kept taking free cupcakes at the grocery store that were meant for children eight and under.) 

After finding the note, Greg goes to bed, still worried about the police. He hears a loud knocking at the door and doesn’t answer it, instead preparing himself with a helmet and baseball bat. The knocking turns out to be Greg’s father, who got his tie stuck in the door. Greg feels that his dad isn’t too happy with him right now, so he is almost grateful when a blizzard blows in and keeps his dad at a hotel for the night.