Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight

Nicola’s physical state reflects her profound emotional turmoil following the death of her baby. The images the author alludes to, such as wasted breastmilk poured down the drain and the bloodstained towel, emphasize the absence and helplessness Nicola feels after undergoing another instance of child loss. This portrayal extends beyond her mental anguish, reflecting a deep-seated grief. Nicola’s body, then, becomes a canvas upon which the emotional turmoil of loss and the lingering presence of past tragedies are etched. Her mind is described as “unhinged,“ suggesting a loss of control over her thoughts and emotions. Meanwhile, her body is depicted as “alarming and leaking,“ linking her physical manifestations to her grief.

The death of their brother also becomes a catalyst for a redefined family dynamic, raising The Complexities of Personal History. Vanessa assumes a more parental role in their grief-stricken household. As the oldest of the children, Vanessa shoulders the responsibility of providing comfort and guidance to her sister as well as assistance to her father, stepping into a maternal role and ensuring the family’s well-being. Her proactive approach reflects a forced maturity. Alexandra describes Vanessa’s newfound “womanly“ demeanor, highlighting the way tragedy has accelerated her growth. Thrust into a caregiver role, Vanessa grapples with the weight of both loss and responsibility.

Amid her grief, Alexandra interprets her infant sibling’s death through a supernatural lens, reflecting the motif of superstitions in the memoir (See: Symbols & Motifs). She perceives a sense of predestination woven into their misfortunes, drawing connections between local beliefs in bad luck and the string of tragic events that plague her family. Her disregard toward a sacred gravesite, where she handles scared pottery recklessly, coincides with the deaths of their beloved animals, seemingly unleashing a wave of misfortune. Their servant’s departure after the incident, citing the “poisonous“ land, reinforces Alexandra’s perception of a karmic connection between their actions and their suffering.

While Alexandra’s depiction of her sibling’s death sheds light on her emotional state, it inadvertently perpetuates a familiar literary trope about African mysticism. The continent’s portrayal as a land shrouded in superstition and governed by supernatural forces is a common and problematic narrative device. This approach positions Western beliefs as “rational“ and enlightened compared to supposedly “primitive“ practices. Despite not actively belittling local beliefs, Alexandra’s narrative still perpetuates this trope to some extent through her focus on the fatalistic aspects of the superstitions she describes. The “poisonous“ land and the supposed unleashing of misfortune reinforce a stereotype of Africa as an exotic and potentially hostile place, oversimplifying and homogenizing diverse belief systems present across the continent. While the concept of karma, or a connection between actions and consequences, exists in many cultures—including Alexandra’s Anglican background—the emphasis on the supernatural nature of the land leans heavily on the trope of African mysticism.

Though partially reliant on a mysticism trope, Alexandra’s depiction of her family’s tragedies also reveals a sense of self-awareness regarding the entanglement between one’s personal history and the broader historical context, reflecting the complications of Negotiating Identity in a Postcolonial Context. By including The General Confession, a common Anglican prayer expressing remorse for one’s sins, the author points to a deeper significance behind the Fullers’ misfortunes, beyond a mere karmic response to their disregard for local belief: She hints at an underlying sense of guilt or wrongdoing stemming from their presence in Africa. Thus, the author subtly suggests that her family’s misfortunes may be consequences of their actions within the broader context of colonization, positioning their personal struggles as a form of punishment for their role in it. Such passages underscore the ways in which the author interprets her personal experiences in light of the larger historical context of her time.