I Am Watching You

Henry Ballard, Anna’s father, tensely waits for updates about her case, while his wife Barbara busies herself with making Anna’s favorite pancakes. Henry and Barbara live on the farm Henry inherited from his parents. These days, Henry makes his money mostly through renting holiday cabins on the sprawling farmland. Henry wishes the door would open and Anna would rush in with her sister Jenny, relieving him and Barbara of their nightmare. Instead, two somber-looking police officers show up at the house, bearing the news that they still haven’t found Anna. The last security footage they have is of Anna and Sarah visiting a nightclub. Sarah, in a state of shock, has not been able to tell them much about what happened. The only lead they have is a witness who has come forth claiming Anna and Sarah met up with two men freshly released from prison. Henry is shocked as he believes Anna is a sensible girl who would know better. Inwardly, he feels guilty because it was him, not his wife, who had wanted Anna to go on the trip so Anna could develop more independence. However, there is another reason he wanted Anna away from the home, and he hopes the police never learn that reason.

Sarah is at the Paradise Hotel, the same hotel in which she and Anna were staying, albeit in a different room. Her mother is with her, while her father is downstairs with the police. Sarah is angry at her mother for having called her father, who left their family years ago. Sarah has not been very forthcoming with the police, since she feels disoriented and also fears being judged for her actions. She remembers coming back to the hotel from the nightclub they had visited and not finding Anna. Anna never showed up. When the police officers tell Sarah that a witness from the train has come forth, Sarah’s face blanches.

One year later, in July 2016, Ella notes that Anna has not been found. Although police are still searching for her, it is unlikely she is alive. Ella’s life has been nightmarish since the media leaked her identity as the witness in Anna’s case. Ella was skewered on social media for not making an immediate call to the police or the girls’ parents. She routinely receives hate mail. Recently, she has started getting anonymous threatening black postcards with letters cut out of a magazine. Ella thinks the black postcards may be from Barbara Ballard, Anna’s mother, who blames Ella for the catastrophe. Tony, Ella’s husband, on the other hand, blames the police for their delayed handling of the case. By the time police put out an appeal to trace Karl and Antony, the young men had already left the country.

On the first anniversary of Anna’s disappearance, news channels are going to broadcast a renewed appeal to find the girl, complete with interviews with her parents and friends, and pictures and footage from Anna’s life. The community plans a candlelight vigil a few days after the broadcast. Henry, Anna’s father, dreads the evening ahead. He is especially worried about how Jenny, Anna’s older sister, will cope with the broadcast. Jenny and Anna, separated by 18 months, had been inseparable. They were even part of the same friend group, with Sarah, Paul, and Tim. Henry also keeps flashing back to Anna saying, “You disgust me, Dad” (27).

Henry returns from the barn to the homestead, where Barbara is trying to persuade Jenny to watch the appeal together in the living room. Jenny, however, wants to watch it with Sarah, Paul, and Tim in her room. Barbara is upset that Jenny would invite the others over for something she views as a private family event. Just then, Barbara and Henry hear Jenny scream in her room and rush upstairs. Jenny has received terrible news about Sarah.

Ella shows Tony the latest postcard that reads, “Karma. You will pay” (35). She has wrapped the postcard in a plastic cover from her 17-year-old son Luke’s notebook, so the card does not get contaminated. Tony wants Ella to immediately report the card to the police. However, since Ella feels Barbara may be behind the messages, she tells Tony she will deal with the matter on her own. Without telling Tony, Ella contacts private investigator Matthew Hill, who used to be a police officer, to work the case.

Ella tells Matthew that her contact with Barbara began when she went to Cornwall to offer Barbara her support. In a faux pas, Ella carried primroses—Anna’s favorite flowers—an act which Barbara interpreted as a presumptive tribute for the dead. Barbara had been livid and even tussled with Ella on the steps outside her house. Since then, Ella has spotted Barbara outside her shop, staring at her. The sequence of events makes her think Barbara is behind the notes. Ella wants Matthew to approach Barbara and ask her to back off. Matthew is not sure Barbara is behind the notes but agrees on the condition that if his mission is inconclusive, Ella will take the matter to the police. He also tells Ella that Sarah nearly died of an overdose.

Sarah is in the high dependency unit (HDU) at the hospital, pretending to be asleep so she does not have to answer doctors’ questions. Sarah does not even remember how many tablets she took; all she can recall is going to various pharmacies and stores to stock up on paracetamol. One trigger for the overdose had been the TV broadcast, which was also going to feature a reconstruction of events. Sarah fears the story Ella told the police—Sarah having sex in the train toilet—will feature in this reconstruction.

The second trigger had been the meeting of the friend group the night before the broadcast. The five friends had discussed once again the events leading to Sarah and Anna’s trip and ended up fighting. The truth was all of them were supposed to go on the trip, but the older ones—Jenny, Paul, and Tim—had dropped out. In the argument, Tim and the others blamed Sarah for not looking after Anna, while Sarah blamed them for canceling the trip because they had more interesting things to do. Sarah had stormed out, wanting to consume pills to block out the pain from the fight.

While driving to Cornwall to meet Barbara, Matthew first checks up on his eight-months-pregnant wife, Sally, and then calls Melanie Sanders, his old friend on the police force, for information on Anna’s case. Melanie tells Matthew that neither of Anna’s parents seems suspicious, and as always, chides Matthew for leaving the police.

At the impressive Ballard farmhouse, Matthew meets Barbara. Barbara denies sending Ella any hate mail. She tells Matthew she would rather have him speak to her husband but makes no move to call Henry. When Matthew tells Barbara that Ella might take the matter to the police, Barbara seems unbothered, except for glaring at Matthew. Discomfited, Matthew leaves.

From the fields, Henry watches Matthew’s car approach and leave the house. He wants to go over to check what’s happening, but two of his sheep are in peril, sliding close to the stream. Henry coaxes the ewes back up the hill and reminisces about Anna. Anna loved Primrose Lane, the path that led from the fields to the house. Although Henry misses his daughter terribly, he has accepted that she may be dead.

Back home, Barbara updates Henry about the PI. Henry is outraged at Matthew’s accusations against his wife but also worries Barbara may have revealed something “silly” about him. Barbara promises Henry she has kept his secret. She reminds him of the candlelight vigil for Anna later this evening.

In Devon, Ella dreads going through the mail lest she discover another anonymous hate note. Just then, she gets a call from Rebecca Hillier, the mother of Luke’s classmate Emily. A terse-sounding Rebecca tells Ella to be at her place for an important meeting regarding Luke at 7:30 pm. Ella and Tony go to Luke’s room to find out what’s happening and find a fully dressed Luke under the covers, sobbing like a baby. Ella realizes that Luke is in serious trouble; she has been so preoccupied with Anna Ballard’s case that she has not been paying attention to her son.