Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me

In this section, Freddy finds herself once again entangled in a toxic cycle with Laura, evoking the theme of Breaking Toxic Relationship Cycles. Despite the initial excitement and flirtation of their rekindled romance, tensions quickly resurface, revealing the unhealthy patterns that persist in their relationship. Freddy’s internal monologue, expressed through her emails to Anna Vice, highlights her conflicting emotions of uncertainty, rationalization, hope, and dejection. These feelings are mirrored in the couple’s interactions, which oscillate between lighthearted moments and tense, dismissive exchanges. Laura’s abrupt departures and shifting moods underscore the instability and emotional turmoil that characterize their relationship. As Freddy grapples with the challenges of this relationship, she begins to question societal norms and relationship dynamics, as evidenced by her reflections on polygamy and polyamory. However, her inability to fully recognize and address the unhealthy aspects of her relationship with Laura suggests that she has not yet developed the necessary tools or self-awareness to break the toxic cycle.

Freddy’s struggle with Seeing Past Superficial Charm and External Validation is evident throughout this section of the book. Despite the red flags in her relationship with Laura—such as Laura’s dismissive attitude toward Freddy’s interests and friends, and her tendency to prioritize other people over Freddy—Freddy remains enamored by Laura’s charisma and the validation she receives from their relationship, like her dad’s reaction that Laura is “cool” like a movie star. However, the juxtaposition of Freddy and Laura’s rekindled romance with the underlying tensions in their relationship creates a sense of unease and foreboding. Freddy’s emails to Anna Vice serve as a window into her internal struggle, revealing her conflicting emotions and attempts to rationalize the challenges in her relationship. The contrast between the couple’s flirtatious moments and the swift undercutting of these tender moments by Laura’s dismissive behavior highlights the instability and emotional whiplash that Freddy experiences.

Meanwhile, Doodle’s reactions to the couple’s interactions, ranging from sadness and yearning to annoyance and despondence, provide an external perspective on the relationship’s impact on Freddy’s friendships. Doodle’s reactions also serve as a foil to Freddy’s infatuation, as Doodle is more critical of their dynamic. However, Freddy appears oblivious to Doodle’s concerns and the potential impact her relationship with Laura has on their friendship. This inability to recognize the deeper issues in her relationship with Laura and her reliance on external validation highlights Freddy’s ongoing struggle to develop a more authentic and self-assured sense of identity.

The revelation that Doodle has a cell phone and is using it to communicate with another person about meeting up, unbeknownst to Freddy, adds another layer of complexity to their friendship. This development suggests that Doodle has a life and relationships outside of her friendship with Freddy, which Freddy may not be fully aware of or appreciate. Doodle’s actions also reveal her own emotional needs and desires, which are going unmet due to Freddy’s preoccupation with her relationship with Laura. The fact that Freddy is largely unaware of these developments in Doodle’s life underscores the growing distance between the two friends and the potential for their relationship to become strained as a result of Freddy’s inability to recognize and respond to Doodle’s needs.

Freddy’s journey toward Discovering Agency and Self-Responsibility is a gradual process in this section of the book. While she begins to question societal norms and relationship dynamics, as seen in her reflections on polygamy, polyamory, and intimacy, she has yet to fully embrace her own agency in navigating her relationship with Laura. Freddy’s passive acceptance of Laura’s inconsistent behavior and her failure to prioritize her own needs and desires demonstrate her struggle to assert herself and take responsibility for her own happiness. The juxtaposition of her mature discussions about sex and intimacy with the presence of innocent childhood toys in the same panel serves as a metaphor for Freddy’s emotional and psychological state, showing that she is still making the transition from childhood to adulthood. The mature themes explored in these conversations serve as a reminder of the complex realities of relationships and the challenges of navigating the transition from adolescence to adulthood. The presence of the childhood toys, however, shows that Freddy is still grappling with this transition and may not yet be fully equipped to handle the emotional demands of a mature relationship. This juxtaposition also speaks to the broader theme of the loss of innocence and the challenges of growing up, as Freddy must learn to balance her own desires and needs with the realities of adult relationships.

The use of pink-outlined speech balloons for Freddy’s childhood toys’ speech creates a sense of whimsy and imagination, while also suggesting that their voices are not heard by the characters in the story. This technique serves to create a separate, almost magical world inhabited by the toys, one that exists parallel to the main narrative. The toys’ unheard speech can be interpreted as a representation of Freddy’s subconscious, offering insights and observations that she may not be ready or willing to acknowledge in her conscious mind. Additionally, the toys’ presence and their unheard voices also symbolize the lingering innocence and childhood experiences that Freddy is grappling with as she navigates the complexities of her relationship with Laura and the challenges of growing up. The juxtaposition of the toys’ innocent, childlike world with the mature themes and emotional turmoil of Freddy’s experiences highlights the bittersweet nature of the transition from childhood to adulthood.