The Midnight Library

What Nora most remembers about the time she jumped into the water is that she initially couldn’t move in either direction because of the strong current. She was equidistant from both shores. Mrs. Elm reminds her that she eventually committed to one side and that she survived the ordeal.

Despite getting hypothermia and falling ill for weeks after jumping in the river, Nora eventually acted. She made a choice and pulled herself out of the river. As she discusses the event with Mrs. Elm, the library returns to normal, and the books reappear on the shelves. Nora just wanted to impress Joe by jumping in the river, and when Mrs. Elm brings up the uncomfortable idea that Nora’s parents liked Joe more, Nora admits she believed this idea. Mrs. Elm suggests that Nora rethink her life and says, “You might need to stop worrying about other people’s approval” (193). Nora agrees. Her decision to play the piano even stemmed from her desire to make Joe happy. Moreover, the lives she’s lived thus far have all been someone else’s dream (Joe’s band, Dan’s pub, Nora’s father’s dream of her swimming professionally, Mrs. Elm’s suggestion about Nora studying glaciology).

Nora has an immense opportunity in cycling through new lives, so she determines to think bigger and really make a go of exploring her choices. To prepare Nora for her next choice, Mrs. Elm and Nora play a game of chess. While playing, Mrs. Elm explains that there are more variations in chess moves than there are atoms in the known universe. Chess boils down to possibility. Nora wins the game, and then she asks for the life in which she chose to work at an animal shelter instead of String Theory.

Nora likes this new life right away—the word “gentle” constantly comes to mind while she’s living it. She works with dogs and cats and loves helping a bullmastiff rescued from abusive owners. Nora wishes for a life free of cruelty, but she would have to live a life without any humans whatsoever for that dream to become reality. Nora remembers a quote from Schopenhauer: “Compassion is the basis of morality” (198). Nora applies this idea to everyday living by accepting this slow, gentle life in Bedford.

One day at lunch, a coworker named Dylan sits with Nora, and they chat about dogs and the possibility of rain. When Dylan places his arm around Nora, she jumps. Nora learns that Dylan is her boyfriend in this life. She then remembers that she saw him running by the library at school all those years ago on the day her dad died. Dylan is shy yet talkative, and Nora thinks that the Nora in this life likes Dylan because he seems as faithful and as loveable as a dog.

Nora and Dylan walk to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. On their way, they notice that String Theory is no longer in business. There’s an old notice up thanking patrons and saying goodbye comically yet poignantly through song lyrics. Nora wonders if the store closed because she wasn’t working there to help sell instruments. Nora then asks Dylan if he thinks about living other lives, but Dylan doesn’t really care about living another life because the one he’s in has dogs. He went away to college briefly to become a vet, but his dad couldn’t afford it so Dylan had to return home. Dylan was fine with returning because he likes the quiet and calm in Bedford. When they near the restaurant, Nora sees Ash running by and says hi, but Ash doesn’t know her in this life.

The restaurant, La Cantina, hasn’t changed much. Nora came here once with Dan, and he was rude to the waiters. A general rule of thumb is to never be rude to waiters, so Nora wonders why she let this bad indication of Dan’s character slide when they were dating. Dylan likes the bright, gaudy restaurant, and Nora muses to herself that Dylan would somehow find it in himself to love even a bad environment. Dylan and Nora chat about school and dogs, and Dylan brings up her former love of swimming and a special assembly at school at which she received a certificate of achievement. Nora thinks the assembly—how it drew so much attention to her—might be what caused her to shrink from swimming professionally. Dylan then mentions that Mrs. Elm now lives in a nursing home and that she seems very frail and old. The chapter ends with Nora worrying about Mrs. Elm.

Nora and Dylan go to his place after dinner to watch Ryan Bailey’s latest movie, Last Chance Saloon. Dylan has several dogs living with him, and the smell of dog overwhelms Nora. As they watch the movie, Nora feels a new sensation—that she has taken someone else’s life. She wants the Nora who fell in love with Dylan to live this life. Before Nora fades away, she reads a wine bottle label that mentions an idyllic life tending vineyards and making wine.

In the next life, Nora lives in the United States, where she works with her husband, Eduardo Martínez, in their winery. This life is easier to navigate because Nora mostly just repeats wine facts to busloads of tourists. Eduardo is easygoing, but his carefree attitude toward Nora reflects that he doesn’t really pay her much attention, and Nora notes, “It was easy to fake everything” in this life (209). This feeling comes up again when Nora and Eduardo drink wine that night while looking up at the stars. They sit in the silence that people comfortable with one another share, but Eduardo fiddles with his phone and then goes to bed easily without Nora; they exist like best friends. Nora wants more from life, so she waits to fade away.

Nora can experience many lives without having to stay in any of them because, to remain indefinitely, she must believe that there is no other version of life worth experiencing. As a result, Nora lives countless lives, much like Hugo. Nora’s many lives include teaching music in Montreal, cat-sitting, being an aid worker in Botswana, a life in which she is a concert pianist, a life in which she only eats toast, a life in which she is a vegan power lifter, and on and on. She meets Hugo again in one life, but he fades away while they talk.

The more lives Nora experiences, the more she realizes that her desire to die stemmed not from meaningless, but from convincing herself that meaninglessness was all that there was in her root life. This distinction allows Nora to differentiate between fear and despair; she can manage fear because it boils down to worry, whereas despair implies a fixed state. Though Nora learns these life lessons, she also “began to lose any sense of who she was” (215): Unlike Hugo, Nora longs for one life in which she can put down roots, so the constant experiences chip away at her sense of self.