The Speed Of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything

Covey emphasizes the role of establishing clear expectations in building trust. He highlights how miscommunication and differing interpretations can result in conflicts, leading to a trust deficit, both personally and professionally.

Covey points out that ambiguities in workplace expectations can cause inefficiencies and misunderstandings. In contrast, clearly defined expectations based on responsibility and accountability can prevent conflicts and align everyone toward a common goal. The trap is in presuming expectations are implicitly understood, which often leads to disappointment. However, Covey discourages insincere or vague attempts to define expectations, labeling these as “counterfeit.” Trust, he argues, enriches written agreements.

Clear expectations are vital both at home and in negotiations. Covey suggests understanding the trade-offs one must often make between quality, speed, and cost and being upfront about these. Striking a balance between detail and rigidity is key, as being overly rigid might undermine trust.

Covey concludes that clarifying expectations is essential to averting misunderstandings and boosting trust, leading to improved outcomes in personal and professional relationships. His advice includes promoting clarity in communication, creating project agreements, and addressing unmet expectations.

Covey identifies two kinds of accountability: holding oneself accountable and holding others accountable. Covey cites examples of leaders accepting responsibility for their mistakes, such as a beef supplier employee, NFL quarterback Steve Young, and former USS Greeneville commander Scott Waddle. These acts of responsibility amplified their trust and credibility. Contrastingly, Michael Brown, former FEMA director, demonstrated a lack of accountability during Hurricane Katrina, eroding trust. Further, Covey warns against victimization trends that undermine accountability, fostering dependency and distrust. He suggests personal responsibility as a trust catalyst that inspires others to behave similarly.

The chapter also highlights the importance of leaders holding others accountable. Covey explains that high performers appreciate accountability and want peers held to similar standards, fostering a culture of trust and high performance. Examples include Covey’s son, who violated a driving agreement, and Ursula Burns, president of Business Group Operations at Xerox, who created an accountable culture by openly discussing missed goals.

Covey concludes that accountability is critical to establishing trust, both personal and within a team, and leads to improved performance, reduced costs, and faster progress. Tips include self-reflection, holding those directly reporting to one accountable, and creating a home environment of accountability.

Covey underlines the necessity of genuinely understanding another’s perspective before attempting to influence or diagnose. This practice of “listening first” is grounded in understanding, respect, and mutual benefit. Its “opposite” is speaking first or not listening—focusing solely on personal agendas without acknowledging others’ viewpoints, which impedes trust building. Covey also warns against “pretend listening,” where one contemplates responses rather than understanding the speaker’s point, fostering feelings of neglect.

Despite criticisms that listening first is time-consuming, Covey argues that it leads to enhanced understanding, superior decision-making, and increased respect, significantly contributing to trust building. Successful companies practice listening with customers and stakeholders, while leaders who listen to coworkers foster high-trust environments, sparking innovation, feedback, and collaboration.

Covey uses personal examples of conflict resolution through listening, arguing that doing so creates an atmosphere of openness and trust and leads to mutually beneficial solutions. He advises recognizing different people’s trust “languages” to build trust effectively by communicating in ways that resonate with them. Listening first also entails tuning into personal instincts when facing tough decisions: Trusting one’s inner voice often yields the best decisions.

Covey concludes that effective listening balances humility and courage, understanding and decision-making, and listening and acting, enhancing trust and efficiency in all interactions.

The ability to keep commitments is pivotal in fostering trust in personal and professional relationships. According to Covey, fulfilling commitments builds trust quickly, so choosing one’s commitments wisely is vital. Vague or avoided commitments constitute “counterfeit” behavior, eroding trust. In today’s competitive business landscape, the ability to make and fulfill standout promises is crucial.

Covey narrates a case of a CEO who, despite skepticism from employees, listened to their concerns, made explicit commitments to solve issues, and promptly delivered. This changed a trust-deficient environment into a trust-rich one, significantly boosting business growth.

Keeping commitments involves integrity, performance, courage, and humility principles and is related to talking straight and delivering results. Violating commitments, explicit or implicit, can massively harm trust. Recognizing cultural interpretations of commitments is also essential for trust building. Similarly, fulfilling commitments in personal relationships often forms the basis for trust in other areas.

Covey introduces the “make-keep-repeat” cycle, where making, fulfilling, and repeating a commitment rapidly builds trust. Carefully choosing commitments, renegotiating when needed, and mindful language use all contribute to trust preservation.

Covey shares a personal anecdote of extending trust to a Little League football player, exemplifying trust’s ability to unlock potential. Shifting to a corporate lens, Covey underscores that extending trust is an essential leadership trait. Showing trust in someone can foster reciprocity, create trust where it’s lacking, and speed up business deals, as seen in examples with Warren Buffett and Procter & Gamble’s and Gillette’s CEOs. Still, trust should not be extended blindly or naively.

Extending trust involves empowerment, reciprocity, and belief in people’s inherent trustworthiness. In contrast, distrust can generate reciprocal distrust and costs that outweigh the risks of trust. The high-trust culture of companies like Ritz-Carlton Hotels, Nordstrom, and JetBlue, where employees are empowered, leads to improved customer service, productivity, and overall performance.

However, Covey warns against “false trust” and “fake trust,” which undermine genuine trust. False trust involves assigning tasks without providing people with the necessary authority or resources, while fake trust means pretending to trust but micromanaging. Covey instead advocates for “smart trust”—a balanced, thoughtful approach to extending trust that he will elaborate on in Part 5. He offers tips like self-reflection and assessing one’s propensity to trust. He concludes by urging leaders not to let a few untrustworthy individuals define the majority, stressing the power of extending trust.