The Tender Bar

While Moehringer tried to be optimistic about his second year at Yale, he felt burdened by both social and academic pressure. Moehringer remembers the efforts he made to be accepted by his classmates and claims that he felt more included by his peers when drinking at the bars than in the classroom. He continued to experience financial constraints, and he struggled to find good work. As a result, the author began his own business laundering wealthy students’ clothes. The author recounts his experience of falling in love with one of his friends’ girlfriends, a student named Sidney, whom he quickly began dating.

As in the rest of his Yale experience, Moehringer was conscious of his and Sidney’s different backgrounds. Unlike his family, Sidney’s parents were still married and ran a successful construction business together. Moehringer remembers that although Sidney had multiple boyfriends at this time, Moehringer was extremely infatuated with her and even suggested that they marry. Sidney, however, remained ambivalent about the relationship, and Moehringer repressed the full extent of his feelings for her. The author recalls his relief at both passing his second-year classes at Yale and not losing Sidney as his girlfriend. Moreover, he was pleased that she had promised him he was her only boyfriend at that point, and he introduced her to his family and the Publicans community.

Moehringer recounts his shock and confusion at abruptly learning at a drunken party that Sidney had been unfaithful to him. When he confronted her, she said nothing, and he saw that talking would be useless and left her. While recovering from his heartbreak, Moehringer traveled back to Manhasset by train. During his journey, he encountered a priest who shared his passion for literature and who listened to his troubles. At this time, the author was scared that he would fail his college classes, and he confided to the priest that, in comparison to his classmates, he felt like the “stupid one” at Yale (200). He also admitted for the first time that while his mother always wanted him to go to law school, he realized he wanted to become a writer. The priest reassured him and told him to recommit himself to graduating and pursuing a career as a newspaper writer.

Despite feeling briefly encouraged by his conversation with the priest, Moehringer had a disastrous winter. Still reeling from his breakup with Sidney and lacking motivation, he stopped attending his classes and doing his homework. He knew that he was risking expulsion, and he wondered if he had self-sabotaging tendencies. After meeting with one of the deans in the spring, Moehringer “scraped and clawed” his way through his next semester (205), only failing one class. He recounts that two people helped him the most during this time: his mother and Frank Sinatra. Moehringer celebrated the end of the school year at Publicans, relieved both at having survived academically and at his ex-girlfriend’s graduation.

Moehringer recollects feeling energized and optimistic at the beginning of his senior year at Yale. He still thought about Sidney and decided to call her. She admitted that she missed him and explained how and why she had betrayed him. Moehringer recalls that when he got back together with Sidney, he thought that their relationship would be different. He decided to balance his relationship with Sidney and his studies at Yale more carefully.

Sidney’s family seemed more accepting of him now, and Sidney was more committal and spoke freely of settling down with Moehringer. He was doing well in his classes and had a job at the British Centre for Art bookstore that he enjoyed. The author wondered if this was the happiest he would ever be; he felt academically, professionally, and personally fulfilled. By an incredible twist of fate, Frank Sinatra was the speaker at Moehringer’s graduation, where Sinatra spoke of growing up singing in saloons. Moehringer was amazed both at his luck and at the similarities between their upbringings.