The Tender Bar

These chapters mark another turning point in Moehringer’s personal development, as he was able to take inspiration from his cousin’s attitude and apply it to his own life. Moehringer describes playing catch with McGraw and noticing that his cousin was not afraid of making mistakes or paralyzed by self-doubt when he failed. This observation helped Moehringer reflect on his own anxious responses to failure, and he became inspired to apply himself at work the way McGraw had to his sport. He recounts that playing catch with McGraw for one hour had taught him “more than all the editors at the Times” had taught him in nearly two years (288). As usual, Moehringer is quick to credit others with his own maturation, showing how he came to have a renewed sense of drive and purpose in his career.

Moehringer emphasizes that it was McGraw, Uncle Charlie, and the men from Publicans who inspired his inner changes. Knowing he had to learn how to better cope with the pressures of newspaper deadlines, he visualized Cager, Bob the Cop, McGraw, and Joey D overcoming problems with their own unique flair and confidence. He writes that he thought of “Uncle Charlie doing the flamingo tango while mobsters plotted his demise, and Joey D’s serene face while beating a drunk senseless. Relaxkidjustfuckingrelax. I thought of them all and it helped” (290).

Another notable part of this chapter is Moehringer’s inclusion of his conflicted feelings about his ex-girlfriend, Sidney. While he sometimes hoped his success as a writer would cause her grief and regret, he also felt that he could still earn her love by a higher salary and a nicer apartment, and he fantasized about proposing to her one day. These inclusions are far from linear; in fact, they contradict much of Moehringer’s earlier realizations and decisions. By including these different thoughts, he paints an honest picture of the long, winding process of his maturation, which was an organic human process and not a neat series of logical steps.