56 pages • 1 hour read
Mary PipherWomen Rowing North: Navigating Life's Currents and Flourishing As We Age
Mary PipherNonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2019A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Introduction-Part 1, Chapter 3Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Part 1: “Challenges of the Journey”
Part 1, Chapter 1 Summary: “A New Stretch of the River”
Part 1 addresses the struggles and changes women deal with as they enter old age. Chapter 1 explains that old age is a time of change, one of many “lifetimes” or periods in which women have new experiences that seem distant from their current lives. Pipher offers an anecdote about her high school and college years to exemplify different “lifetimes” and notes that a person’s lifetimes connect because they continue the same interests. She contends that change happens to everyone but that old age presents unique difficulties for women. Change, she argues, requires seeking new meaning and purpose, as well as a new perspective and new “navigational skills” for a new life stage.
She provides an anecdote to illustrate older women’s experiences: Ava, at 65, was asked if she wanted to use the senior citizen discount at an art museum, which surprised her because she did not see herself as a senior citizen, a person she views as “unattractive.” She felt a loss of attractiveness and identity because of this encounter. Pipher explains that older women need a “developmental perspective” to help them grow and grapple with new perceptions of themselves. This perspective encompasses empathy, attitude, and intention, as well as growth, change, adaptation, and resilience.
Old age involves both pain and happiness, which Pipher argues can spur growth: Suffering creates empathy, and happiness elicits confidence and vitality. These contrasting experiences prompt growth because “the contradictions of this life stage make it a portal for expanding our souls” (28).
Additional anecdotes illustrate these ideas: Willow’s identity centered on work, and she worried about not being able to work as she ages. Sarah’s husband died, and she felt lost and sad. Pipher uses these anecdotes to demonstrate how suffering offers an opportunity for strength and a need to appreciate what one has, rather than yearning for what has been lost. Older individuals have the highest levels of well-being and the most struggles, and Pipher explains that the higher levels of happiness are due to older people’s ability to find appreciation in life’s ups and downs.
The chapter ends with an anecdote about Pipher’s experiences attending a retreat. Buddhist teacher Joanna Macy tasked attendees with finding a meaningful object around which to create a ceremony. Pipher found a cholla cactus with yellow pears and thorns that looked like the Hindu god Shiva. It had both dying and new branches, symbolizing how she saw herself: “I realized that this cactus with its withered arms symbolized what my life would be. It would consist of thorns and fruit, pain and beauty. My body would age; my soul would expand” (33).
Part 1, Chapter 2 Summary: “The Lay of the Land”
Chapter 2 considers the specific changes older women face during the transition to old age. It begins with an anecdote about Pipher. As she sat in a park, a little girl asked her, “‘Where do old ladies come from?’ Apparently, she thought we were a separate species!” (34). She notes that US society separates older people from other generations and that old age is difficult for women because they are no longer seen as sexual or attractive:
Old women in America suffer a social disease. For us, ageism may be an even more serious challenge than aging. Our sexuality is mocked, our bodies are derided, and our voices are silenced [...] In a society that values the young, the fit, and beautiful, we all eventually wind up lacking (34).
An anecdote about Rosa illustrates the conflict women face with aging in a society that devalues them. Rosa did not want to dye her hair, but she was told she should look young if she wanted to remain in her job. In addition, Pipher notes that many women resist the label “old,” viewing it as negative. She cites studies about older women being underrepresented in pop culture and acknowledges that other cultures do care about older people. American society, however, ignores older women’s strengths, such as caregiving, emotional intelligence, peacemaking, and the ability to bring people together.
In addition, older women are sometimes seen as inept. An anecdote about Pipher’s cousin demonstrates this: A grocery store cashier tried to help her figure out the bills she needed to pay, assuming that she was too old to figure it out herself. Older people are often viewed as incompetent regarding their finances, driving, or navigational abilities. Society attributes these issues to their age, rather than general issues all humans face.
Older people also face changing power dynamics with authority figures who are younger than them, such as doctors. They contend with derogatory ideas about their physical appearance and roles, ideas that they may then adopt themselves.
Older people worry about being dependent, but Pipher argues that all generations should be viewed as interdependent because they rely on and help each other. She notes the lack of interaction between the old and the young, creating an absence of understanding of older people and leading older women, in particular, to feel ignored and “invisible.” However, she notes that this invisibility can then allow older women to do whatever they want and not care how they look or act.
An anecdote about Suzanna reveals the pressure women feel to hide their age and pretend to be young in the workplace. She views older women negatively and has felt less confident as she has aged. In connection, Pipher argues that older women must resist societal ideas about them and uses a story from Two Old Women by Velma Wallis to illustrate this. In an Athabaskan tribe in Alaska, two older women were left behind because the male elders said they could only feed people who could work. The women thought they would die, but one argued that they should try to survive. When the tribe found them again, the women had become self-reliant. They then offered some of their supplies to the other tribe members.
The chapter ends with three ways older women can reclaim their power and gain respect: educate others about their lives and negative stereotypes about them; advocate for women throughout their lifespan through policy change and activism; and talk to people to create respect, empathy, and awareness.
Part 1, Chapter 3 Summary: “The Worn Body”
Chapter 3 begins with an anecdote about Pia, who shows people pictures of when she was young so that they see that she did not always look old. This opens the chapter’s discussion about aging bodies, which concentrates on changes in women’s activities and their increasing health problems.
Pipher notes that women’s libidos change, with some women experiencing decreased libido, while others experience increased desire. An anecdote about Sylvia and her husband Lewis describes Sylvia’s health problems and decreased energy and the ways their daughter’s addiction has negatively impacted their lives, including their libidos and desire to be social. Sylvia also visited a young doctor for her arthritis, which was a negative experience because he did not understand her problems due to the gap in their ages.
Pipher explores how the reality of aging bodies means forgoing activities that require physical effort and dealing with decreased brain functioning. She claims that as people age, they focus more on their memories and less on unimportant things. Older people also begin to understand their parents’ and grandparents’ experiences, and they discuss health more, which young people don’t understand because it is not as prominent in their lives.
Anecdotes about Eva, Abby, and Kestrel, who have dealt with pneumonia, cancer, and osteoporosis, illustrate how health concerns have affected their identities and activities. She outlines the concept of a “healing package of treatments” that she developed when writing a book about refugees (51). These consist of medical treatments, traditional medicine, and simple pleasures, which she translates as activities, relationships, and perspectives that enrich older women’s health, peace, and happiness.
Pipher ends with an anecdote about her own life, when she faced hand pain that impacted her strength. She struggled with the concept of having a disability: “I had always seen myself as a strong, healthy, and competent person [...] I couldn’t conceive of who I would be if I were not physically useful” (53). She learned to use tools and adapt to her new circumstances while feeling sadness about this change. However, working through sadness helped her accept her disability in a healthy way. She also learned to accept help from others and appreciate what she could do, rather than dwell on what she couldn’t.
Introduction-Part 1, Chapter 3 Analysis
The first section of the book establishes Pipher’s holistic view of aging and her aim to improve how older women view their transition into later life. Its sections each focus on one area that women can improve—specific emotional skills, connections, and positive perspectives—to live happier lives in old age. Although the book centers on older women, many of its topics, like changing bodies, loneliness, and self-awareness, could apply to all older people and some younger people. Similarly, the psychological concepts discussed, such as authenticity and resilience, are broadly applicable.
Rivers are a motif throughout the book, reflecting the title Women Rowing North. The river serves as a metaphor to help older women visualize aging as a journey with obstacles along the way. River imagery also depicts that life moves, flows, and changes, rather than remaining stagnant, and that older women are moving toward a destination. The journey “toward winter and the land of snow and ice” elicits a particular image (20). It characterizes life as moving through seasons, with winter coming last. The north is a place of winter, snow, and ice, and these words also connect with death and dying through the death of vegetation because of cold weather.
The opening chapters also establish the use of anecdotes to connect its ideas to real women’s lives. Pipher’s own stories connect her with the reader, making her arguments more personal. The anecdotes, stories, and metaphors, along with discussion of emotions, experiences, and people, together create a broad picture of aging beyond narrow societal views, one of Pipher’s aims. She not only weaves these anecdotes and discussion together but also threads her ideas throughout chapters, building upon them and reflecting the complex, intertwining nature of life. One cannot separate self-awareness from intention, or gratitude from reframing life stories, for instance.
Pipher writes for a general audience of older women. Although the book discusses both heterosexual women and lesbians, it does not address the specific challenges of nonbinary individuals, transgender women, or non-monogamous women. The text focuses primarily on married cisgender women and maintains binary divisions of gender. Although Pipher interviews women of various races, she does not delve into racial differences in aging, apart from a brief mention of the higher value that African Americans place on older women in their community. Instead, she centers what she views as general issues faced by all women in late life. However, some topics—such as marriage, grandchildren, and retirement—do not apply to all women, who may have varying relationship statuses and choices, income levels, housing situations, or desires to have children. The intersection between a woman’s age and other aspects of identity will impact her life, as psychologist and gerontologist Tracey Gendron states, “intersectional levels of discrimination and structural disadvantages negatively affect aging […] health disparities are indissolubly linked to race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, and socio-economic position” (Gendron, Tracey. Ageism Unmasked: Exploring Age Bias and How to End It. Steerforth Press, 2022). If aging involves changes to health, then differences linked to race, sexual orientation, income level, and other factors would impact aging. Although she notes in the Introduction that not all people age at the same pace, and that not all women are the same, she does not tackle these differences in detail.
As part of the theme of Facing Change With Growth, Adaptation, and Resilience, the book begins with change, because it is how people first notice aging: changing bodies and health statuses, changes in physical and mental functioning, and changing social perceptions. Chapter 1 emphasizes the theme by arguing that age-related changes are inevitable; it is how women view these changes that makes a difference. Pipher suggests that a developmental perspective allows women to see the growth, change, and adaptation involved in aging. A developmental perspective is a psychological concept that encompasses how people develop and adapt throughout life stages in physical, cognitive, social, personality, emotional, and other areas. Older women can view these areas as places for growth, particularly through their dual experiences of pain and happiness. Pipher’s cactus metaphor depicts this duality through its “thorns and fruit, pain and beauty” (33). The thorns symbolize pain, while the fruit represents beauty.
Pipher’s perspective also combats societal views of older women as unimportant, encouraging women to change their perspectives and supporting the theme Intention and Gratitude Support Positive Aging. Because American society devalues older women, they then devalue themselves by not wanting to be called “old.” Like Suzanna, they integrate society’s negative perceptions and stereotypes about them, a common behavior among marginalized groups. Older women face marginalization because of both their gender and age, compounded by the loss of their perceived “status” as sex objects. In the US, women are objectified based on appearance and youth, and older women feel ignored and invisible because traditional notions of attractiveness and sexuality belong to the realm of younger women. Ageism and sexism align to make older women’s lives more challenging, part of the concept of lookism.
Pipher addresses these perceptions by presenting the fullness and complexity of women’s lives in comparison to how society views them, and she identifies the value that they bring to their communities, families, and society. Although she claims to offer a feminist perspective on these issues, she does not couch her discussion in feminist theory or concepts or delve into inequalities or sexism as it relates to older women in detail. She specifies the ageism older women face in relation to their gender only in a few chapters, but primarily counters negative perceptions of older women by noting their strengths, which society tends to ignore. As an example, the story about the Athabaskan tribe illustrates the strengths of older women versus false perceptions about their uselessness, aligning thematically with growth in the face of change.
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