Words on Bathroom Walls

Fully weaned from ToZaPrex, Adam is in the hospital to try other treatments; none are working. He sends an email to his therapist detailing his thoughts. His therapist visits him in the hospital with two dry erase boards they can use to talk about prom.

After Adam’s parents told him he couldn’t go, Adam lied to them and went anyway after taking a large amount of horded ToZaPrex. Though he felt sick, he pretended he was fine. During a slow song, the strobe lights cut out and were replaced by a video of Adam screaming and being sick in the bathroom during the Knights of Columbus presentation. Ian recorded the incident and put it up so that Adam would look like “A freak on display for everyone to see” (248).

Adam doesn’t remember what happened after the video played. Next thing he knew, he woke up in an ambulance. Paul and Rebecca were there. Paul told him everything would be all right and took Adam’s hand—the same hand Rebecca was holding. Adam asked Rebecca if she’s real. She shook her head “no,” and Adam felt “like I was learning it for the first time” (253).

Maya visits Adam in the hospital and asks why he never told her about the schizophrenia. He didn’t want her to know how broken he was. Maya tries to argue, but Adam tells her to leave. She does so in tears, and Adam realizes he wasn’t actually broken “Until I’d made her cry” (256).

The first Monday after Adam comes home from the hospital, Dwight comes by to play tennis. Adam argues that he can’t go play because he’s sick, but Dwight responds by setting up a Wii Tennis game. They play and hang out for a few hours without mentioning Adam’s schizophrenia, “almost like it didn’t matter” (259).

Adam sends Maya an email apologizing for not telling her about his illness. Afterwards, he sits in his room with a group of his hallucinations. They sing to him, and for once, everything is calm.

Maya comes to Adam’s house angry because he decided on the future of their relationship without consulting her. Adam explains that breaking up makes sense: He’ll likely go through many medicines until doctors find one that works and that he may never be okay. Maya doesn’t care. She says no matter how long it takes, “We can handle this,” and kisses him (266).

Adam has good and bad days. Most afternoons, Maya comes to his house to do homework. She doesn’t treat him any differently and has started researching schizophrenia drugs. Sometimes this bugs Adam, but overall, he doesn’t mind because “it’s nice to hear ‘I love you’ from someone who doesn’t have to be here” (270).

Adam’s mom gives Adam a letter Paul wrote to St. Agatha’s after the shooting in Connecticut. In it, Paul raged at the school board because they wanted to take action against Adam, even though Adam did nothing wrong. After he reads the letter, Adam cries because Paul called him his son. Later, Adam finds Paul in the kitchen and apologizes. Paul accepts the apology, and they move on.